7:25 AM, along Sen. Gil Puyat Avenue. 


The pearl-white sedan in front mine slowly halted. I lethargically hit the brakes. I sighed at the thought of having to wait for the red light to turn green. I had a stressful day at work and I couldn't wait to get home.

The busy scene overwhelmed my tired senses. I was a pallid figure amidst the city's vibrant backdrop and I couldn't help but feel detached from reality.

"The worst is over now 
and we can breathe again". 

Amy Lee's ethereal voice resonated inside the car. As I was listening to the song, my heart skipped a beat and I felt blood rushing to my head. For a nanosecond, the vivid surroundings became hazy and the frenzied motion of people slowed down. Pictures of the bittersweet past played rapidly in my head and a subtle battle between grief and fear slowly groped my soul.

The unexpected surge of emotions uprooted me from the ground. I gave in and just let the tears flow.

I don't remember the last time I allowed myself to be this vulnerable. For the longest time, I have been a roulette ball masked with callousness, gliding freely on fate's eternal wheel. But not today. Today, I couldn't ignore the burning swirl of crimson and ebony inside, ready to explode anytime. 

Very soon, you and I will break loose from the chains that bind us. I know this isn't the way it's supposed to end. Like most people, I was also led to believe that fairy tales and Western love stories could happen in real life. For years, I was in search of that one person who will never let go of my hand as I tread life's path. I thought you were that person.

It's no one's fault though. We did everything to save what we had. It's just that we started our journey with a broken compass in hand and we got lost along the way.

Yes, I am broken because I failed at the single most important relationship in my life. But after everything we've been through, I'm glad that we still managed to punctuate our story with a happy ending. It may not have worked out the way it should have, but what we have right now is way beyond perfect.

You are and you will always be my unconventional hero. Thank you for being my source of strength whenever I become weak. Thank you for being my inspiration whenever I lose hope. Thank you for never leaving my side whenever I falter. And I've faltered many, many times... but you have never given up on me. 

Even if you have your own life now, I want you to know that I'm always right behind you. I will always love you no matter what. It’s not romantic or sentimental. It’s not platonic either. It’s love that is seasoned by time, love that has withstood fate’s wrath, and love that will last until the chill of winter comes. It’s the kind of love that gives without expecting, that loves without asking to be loved. It’s not really unconditional. It’s just real.

I'm sorry I messed up. If fate allows our paths to cross in the next life, I'll probably still choose to be with you. Maybe then we'll get it right.