I opened my eyes. darkness permeated the sides of my retina. I blinked profusely to help my eyes adjust to the murky surroundings. terror and anxiety began flooding my half-awake consciousness. I was afraid to remember where I was or what I got myself into. then, i caught a whiff of a tender yet virile scent. Gradually, I grasped the reality I was in.
I gazed at the motionless being curled comfortably beside me. His face looked so serene, like a painting of an infinite landscape hanging in the middle of a small, unfurnished room. his tranquil state conquered my entire being and for a split-second, I felt nothing but pure joy and peace within. It made me wish that I could stay in that surreal moment longer.
but reality didn’t allow me to wallow in my euphoria.
I fumbled under the pillow for my phone and checked the time. It was past 12 in the afternoon.
"Oh Shiiiiiiit!" I bellowed. My heart skipped a beat and blood rushed to my head. my world stopped moving for a few seconds.
“Hey. Wake up. I have work in 2 hours", I murmured as I shook him gently.
After 10 minutes of calling out his name over and over, he finally opened his eyes. he flashed a warm smile.
"Let's go. We need to go" I weakly said.
He pulled me towards him. I pushed him back. after a few minutes of playful yanking, I gave up the fight. I wanted him to hold me anyway. he was like a warm blanket on a chilly night.
"I want to take care of you. Please let me take care of you" he whispered. he then kissed my forehead softly. it was a scene that I would later play in my head repeatedly.
I gave him an awkward smile.
"Everyone needs to be saved. It's time for someone to save you. Let me be the one to save you”, his soft lips pressed against my right ear.”please, just let me be with you” he added.
I pretended not to hear what he was saying. I just didn’t know what to say.
it was not the first time I heard those words from him. I couldn’t gauge if they were real or not. but I didn’t want to find out anyway. I wish I did but I didn't.
The word "Fuck" reverberated in my head while I was on my way home. I knew it was a big mistake to be with him. But then again, I can’t deny the fact that he made me happy, even for just a fleeting moment in time. yes, he was mistake, but a beautiful one.
2 comments. So much lovin!
This seemed all too familiar. I, as have you, walked the same path; only in a different place and in a different time.
Beautiful. That's what it is. :)
we're the same in many ways. some good, some bad. thanks dee =)
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